Rabbi Jess says Rabbi-ish things in the Spring

These are just a few of the Rabbi-ish things Rabbi Jess told our students in our weekly newsletter.

January 21, 2024

New Year's resolutions are cheesy, but I actually really like the opportunity to do a personal check in and ask myself: Hey there, gorgeous! Are you showing up in the world as your most awesome, healthiest, happiest, kindest, self? In a similar fashion to how Yom Kippur is an impetus for soul-searching and making changes, January can be a hopeful month full of newness and promise (even though the weather isn't great). 

Something I recently noticed is how emotionally dependent I am on coffee (why yes, I'm also physically dependent upon it, butI'm less bothered by that!). Whenever I have to show up in front of people, whether it’s teaching a class, helping to lead a program, or attending a social event, I believe in my mind that in order to be “good”, I must have a coffee. I panic on those days when I didn’t give myself enough time to make or buy myself a ‘magical’ cup and then dread showing up, as I feel like I will not be okay without those sips. Really?? Would I not be able to form sentences without caffeine? Yes, caffeine literally provides us with increased alertness by blocking the binding of adenosine to its’ receptor, but am I devoid of wit, charm, or wisdom unless holding a Starbucks? It's a mental crux. Thus, I challenge myself… one of these days… I mean… not today, or next week... that’s too scary… to teach a “Jewish Learning Fellowship: Life’s Big Questions” session, caffeine free (You should all totally sign up and tell me if you notice which class it is!).

I’m still going to drink coffee this semester; but I promise myself to work on that feeling that I’d be less of a person without it. Anyway to that effect… hit me up! Lemme buy you a coffee (decaf?!) and talk to me about your hopes and dreams for 2024!!  

January 28, 2024

I went to rabbinical school for 6 years so YOU don’t have to! They told me secrets while I was there… ancient prophecies, texts written in tongues no longer spoken, we pondered the formation of the universe, and ruminated upon how the wisest sages would make and break the codes we still struggle to live by. And I, Rabbi Jess, have decided that I trust you now enough to spill the tea… 

Thus, with an aromatic array of British teas, (black, herbal, earl gray, hot) to be sipped alongside proper English biscuits (pronounced “cookies” if you're an uncouth American) and other tea-time treats, I will spill the T (as in Torah, see what I did there?) and let you in on these intriguing, juicy Jewish affairs. Your questions -ANY questions- will be highly encouraged, and ANSWERS (plus even more questions!) will be provided without sugar coating... unless it's on the biscuits that is!

You can also request topics that you wish me to spill the tea on. Just tell me to my lovely British face, or email me at: rabbijess@hillel818.org. All are welcome! Each session is its own self contained tea party, and the topic will be announced on Instagram and our Discord in advance.  

February 4, 2024

Did you know that February is the month where the highest number of people, nationally speaking, feel the most depressed? It can be for many, the emotionally gloomiest month of the entire year. January’s full of promise; there's always that initial novelty of getting to write a new date, and hope for changes: It’s back to school and work, and even if that brings up mixed feelings, there are highlights to look forward to, like (hopefully) some great materials to learn, masterful professors, good friends, and welcome back parties at Hillel. Plus, our self esteem rises when we are productive. So, even though January is cold and dark, it’s optimistic. Then February hits and the shininess of the new year wears off; it’s cold, gray, people are still passing around their gross winter germs, workloads increase, and stress rises. And there are oh so many months til our next vacation.  So, here is your reminder that it’s OKAY to not be OKAY, that it’s brave to ask for help from professionals, and to lean on your friends.

If you're someone who is personally rocking out February, massive amounts of respect to you! Look for the others who are struggling, and share some of your positivity, if you can spare it! Rabbi Tarfon, over 1500 years ago, writes in a collection of Wise Sayings: “It is not on you to complete the task, but neither are we free to desist from the work.” AKA, you don't need to single handedly get all the things done, or drastically change the world. But it’s really important that we don't give up and quit, either. :-)  

We are now in the thick of it, with so much ahead of us. We will manage it, if we take it moment by moment, surrounded by community. Hillel is here for you and WE have a fabulous February planned to keep up the levels of joy and warmth. You’re welcome! Group Hug. 

February 11, 2024

Here’s what Israel means to me.

When I was 23, I volunteered in Israel for ten months on Project Otzma. I met tons of people. I even met a dude who I really liked. Together in our group, we explored the land, went to beaches, bars and late night cafes, picked avocados on a kibbutz, hiked up sand dunes, got to know our Israeli relatives, and made lifelong friends. We taught English to high school children living in peripheral villages to give them a better chance to get into University. It was the best year of my life to date. 

At the conclusion of our program, that dude left for LA. I could have joined him or I could have returned to England. I didn't. I figured out by then that I loved him but I also realized that I wasn't done with Israel.

I signed up to study in Jerusalem at Pardes, a pluralist mixed Yeshivah, as I felt that I hadn’t yet explored Judaism deeply enough. It was a wild and challenging year; and the idea of becoming a Rabbi dawned on me after enough people said: “You’re a rabbi, Harry!” But I wasn't ready yet.

What to do? Well, guess who came recruiting to Pardes, handing out free pizzas? What a totally Hillel move… I fell in love again! I wanted to be part of that community, so, I promptly moved to Florida to work for Hillel (University of Florida!) and figure out Jewish American college culture! A year later, I finally felt ready to enroll in rabbinical school in LA, and wouldn’t you know it, that dude I’d dated in Israel happened to live a couple of miles down the street! 

Today, I work for Hillel and I’m married to that dude. Israel is deeply, deeply woven into that entire journey. It granted me access to my Jewish identity. It revealed my path, threw friends and family my way, and brought Hillel into my life. Whenever I think of Israel, I feel gratitude and love. It was literally my home for several years. Her ancient and modern stories flow through me. 

Israel Week is a time to share our true stories, celebrate Israeli culture, and Israeli people. It goes without saying that many of us feel conflict and pain in connection to Israel, too. But, I want to give us permission to set that to the side for a week and lean into the love stories, hold onto its sacred beauty, and remember the joy.  

February 18, 2024

The Phenomenal British-Israeli Educator, Robbie Gringras, posits that there are 3 different styles of PRODUCTIVELY handling an encounter between people who disagree with one another at the outset. You can have your exchange as a ‘debate’, a ‘negotiation’, or a ‘healthy argument’(unhealthy arguments are also an option, but that’s yelling and cussing and nope not fun).  

A debate is where I must convince you that I am right and that you are wrong. And, ideally convince any listeners to this exchange as well. The downside is that it's a win-lose outcome. 

A negotiation is where our aim is to reach a consensus, and decide on a workable solution together. The downside is that in order for us to agree, we may well give up on things which are crucially important to us and our identity to reach the agreement. 

In a healthy argument, the aim is for us to communicate our differences, grow, and gain in perspective. As Gringras states: “I don’t need to convince you of my side, and I am not disappointed if I don't. We don't need to agree, but I want to share my opinion and truly hear yours, too.” 

Why distinguish between these styles?

If you find yourself in a situation when you’re arguing with another person it's useful to ask yourself: what kind of argument am I in? 

Is this a debate? (and am I prepared to lose?)

Are we negotiating for a resolution? (and are we willing to compromise?) 

Is this an UNHEALTHY argument? (Do not engage, please!) 

Is this a healthy argument? (we will end up learning more thanks to our impassioned exchange?) 

If our mindset is growth, then our approach is going to be different and more gentle. We will listen more, ask deeper questions, and feel less defensive when providing our side. It may even bring us closer, and spark empathy for our opponent, even if we will never, ever agree!

February 25, 2024

Rabbi Bradley Artson teaches us that “Our love is a cascade of caring that splashes from those who came before us to those who will follow after. As we swim in the love of our parents, friends, family, and faith, we bathe those in our care for their journeys yet ahead. Love flows; pass it on!” 

Whenever we meet up together, when we do it with openness and for the hope of deeper connections, whether we are learning, shabbating, laughing, cooking, partying, group hugging, dominating the high score board at Smash Bros, stitching, bowling, or dancing, we are actually allowing our love to flow. We are harnessing our primordial energy and tapping into the universe’s nature that attracts sentient beings to evolve and grow. And so, together, we engage in the godly act of creation. We create more fun, more art, more words, more relationships, and create meaning when we mark the time passing with rituals and celebrations.

When you come to the Hillel building, or meet with us for drinks and food, or adventure with us on our epic field trips, you are co-creating the universe! So, seize the chance to join in these communal events, which are really moments to let the love flow, create lasting friendships, and joyful memories that will sustain us into the future! 

March 3, 2024

Last week, a student confided: “Ugh, I really hate praying, does that make me a bad Jew?” 

Um, join the club, darling, it makes you a NORMAL Jew! In the Jerusalem Talmud, a document containing the wisest words of our sages compiled in the 4th century, the following convo is recorded: 

Rabbi Hiyya said, “I have never concentrated on prayer all of my days… Once I tried to concentrate, but all I could think about was politics.”  

Rabbi Samuel said: “During prayer, I count the clouds.” 

Rabbi Bun Bar Hiyya said: “I count the stones in the wall when I should be praying.”

I absolutely scream with excitement every time I remember that this text is part of our heritage. It gives us permission to say that this modality of religious expression is not for everyone. On the outside we can all be having the same experience, but on the inside, ALL of us are going on personal journeys in our unique headspace, whether it's obsessing about politics, staring at a cutie pie in the room, or wishing we were asleep (you know who you are). It’s also a challenge lodged at the ancient prayer books! To say: change it (and shorten it!) as it aint working for most of us! Because it IS worthwhile to show up to prayer spaces that are intentional and feel the community experience of being with others, singing the same page, and being part of the group consciousness. At Hillel for Shabbats, we pride ourselves that our prayer experience lasts 45 mins, and always includes English, modern music, stories, and is optional in the first place! (though VERY much encouraged)  

It is powerful for us to connect in communal moment to pray for peace, healing, or joy. But it doesn’t ever make you a bad Jew if it's not your vibe. So, join us every other Friday eve, let us know how and what works for YOU prayer-wise, and know that we have some splendid ceiling tiles to count.